Wow, a year has literally felt like a waste

At least for me, if you’re not busy with something that keeps you going forward in your life (in my case, naginata), everything just feels like a bag of potato chips containing empty calories. You want to train, but cannot. You have all these home improvement projects that you had in mind during this corona time, but then never get to because of just lack of funds due to the shitty economy, or just that not having your mental state being the same due to the lack of consistent training makes you not push yourself as much as you usually would. I did, however, get some mega back burner projects done (which I feel great about), however, my “2020 Goals” page in my planner is pathetically not bubbled as much as I intended it to be for this year.

Not as many tutoring appointments as before, no coaching $ like in the previous years, so I definitely had to budget things a little bit differently this year, however, I did get into the world of investing and what it means to take huge risks in a large chunk of money at once, when to wait, when to buy, and calculating profit out of things. I decided to nest my egg of future cash investments, while not going so crazy on stocks and whatnot. I also took advantage of some of the deals on quality items due to the economy, since I would normally not buy them under normal (budget) circumstances. The money I would’ve normally used for yearly plane tickets to Japan has now been used on investments instead. I really hope that they pay off in the Spring and that the plant industry does not experience a Dutch Tulip Bulb Crash like 1637.

The city has been much quieter now since the pandemic. It’s honestly too bad that I wasn’t still doing my thesis during these quiet times at home xD I could’ve saved a lot of post-commute stress had the pandemic hit during my studies, oh well. Now that I’ve been working on my publication and working with real people, I guess that is making me try to procrastinate in other ways (a.k.a. actually writing on this blog lol).

Right now, Himawari has been teaching a dance unit during class, so I’ve been waking up less stressed out about things. It’s just that I have been feeling lazier and lazier—now I honestly feel as though there is nothing to watch on Youtube now (yeah…it’s THAT bad lol). I am not looking forward to instructing again anytime soon…naginata, yes, but not work work…

I also have been able to finally grow my nails out long since I’m not training at the moment xD I actually really find them to be an inconvenience and I honestly don’t understand how anyone (especially my younger self) would want long nails. Like yes, it looks pretty and elegant, but like…omg, it really sucks to type and everything lol. Thankfully, I decided to splurge on this (dysfunctional) Bluetooth wireless keyboard that is modeled after a typewriter, so it’s been a little easier to type with my nails, but still…bleh, I hate it lol.

I do have to admit, the pandemic has allowed me time to find creative ways to explore naginata. It makes me wonder though if naginata has changed in it’s priority in my life, or if it has totally enmeshed itself into me to the point where I’m not ‘obsessing’ over it in every single of my life. It takes more energy and effort to make things revolve around it, however, the funny thing is that when I start writing about something else, it just eventually comes back to naginata anyway lol. Whenever I was also asked to collaborate on projects featuring naginata, I also would enjoy it when I’m doing it, so I guess it just became a part of me and my identity to the point where I don’t need to prove anymore how much it means to me.

Although I didn’t get everything done like how I originally planned, I at least got other things done and still was able to take an ample amount of time to reflect on things.

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